some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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