Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize