At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
