we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
