Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
