Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
