what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
