i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
