I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
