Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
