I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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