He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
