I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
