I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
