guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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