why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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