Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
