Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Randomize
