Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Who died my cat blue again?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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