Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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