Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
