The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
