I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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