he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
