Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
