I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
