It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You ruined the universe
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
