I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
