I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
