remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
