Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
