sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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