I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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