My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize