Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
