just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
