lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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