Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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