You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
