i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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