ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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