i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
