hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
