So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
