We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
