I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
