all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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