Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
