i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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