omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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