WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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