He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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