Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
