fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
