Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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