who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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