you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
