I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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