I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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