First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You don't make any sense
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