Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
