I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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