I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just got carded by a ten year old.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
