All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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