At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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