nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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