According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize